When social media was born it felt like a great way to stay in touch with your friends and maybe make some new ones. It was also a great place to share those things you loved. Sadly though, I feel that’s mostly gone. Social media has become this toxic environment filled with people just spewing hate, left and right. I know this is not new to anyone of us. So… why do we keep using it? Moreover, why do we keep mindlessly scrolling through it? I know, I know. Collectively hating on something is a very satisfying way to connect with others. Nevertheless, I’m not sure if it’s the healthiest or most enriching way to do it.

 

Clearly, it’s so easy to hate nowadays. We carry tiny devices in our pockets every minute of every day where we can share our thoughts whenever we want to. Also, there are so many books, films, TV shows out there… and with them comes this need to consume them all. Or at least, consume the best. Maybe that is why people are so vocal regarding the stuff they don’t like. They just want to make their point clear. I highly doubt it, though. Mostly, I think that people like to be defined by what they hate. It’s part of their identity. As if hating something that is mainstream makes them cooler. Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

 

Alternatively, it’s sad how easily we dismiss the work of others. It’s even sadder to think how people like to relish in their hatred and get really creative. I’m thinking about those “Worst films/albums/books of the decade” kind of articles. Or how about those really mean reviews? Have you read any of those really inspired, hate-ridden “Cats” (Tom Hooper, 2019) reviews? Undoubtedly, many of those reviews are people being cruel just to be funny. I’m not even going to bother linking to them because I don’t think those types of articles deserve the clicks. Alternatively, there’s also a less inspired hatred, where people just comment with the throwing up emoji or a silly meme.

 

Finally, here’s what I don’t get: people retweeting stuff they don’t agree with… to say they don’t agree with it. In the age of social media, tagging someone or retweeting someone means more exposure to them, meaning this person becomes more popular, which means you’re giving this person more of a voice. I think if you don’t agree with someone you shouldn’t engage with them. Simply ignore them and write your opinion on whatever matter is at hand. Or share those messages you do agree with instead. There can, of course, be some exceptions to this rule. However in most cases, I believe not engaging with haters or trolls is the best thing you can do. Don’t fight the haters, fight for the cause. Spread love, not hate.

I really wish people were more mindful of their words. Especially creatives. If you are reading this blog, it’s probable you might be in the film industry. Maybe you are an aspiring filmmaker or maybe you simply love films. That’s great! Welcome. So here’s a question for you: how often do you find yourself talking about films you didn’t like? How about those films you did like? Something tells me it’s either quite balanced or you spend most of your time hating on things.

 

Now here’s another question for you. Have you ever stayed throughout the credits of the film? No, it doesn’t count if you were waiting for a post-credits scene. Probably never, huh? I admit: I didn’t use to do this, but my boyfriend did. He’s a big film buff. So I started doing it too. Try it. Just for once, stay and watch the names of all the people who have worked on the film you just watched. I always stay through the end credits now (unless I have somewhere I need to be getting to). It’s my tiny way of acknowledging every single person who has worked in that film. Not only the actors: the caterers, the make-up people, CGI creators. Getting to see the amount of people who have worked on a title is honestly a lesson in humility. You can only imagine the amount of hours, hard work, perseverance and organisation it must have taken to coordinate all of it. The film industry is not as glamorous as it looks and I bet you most of these people you see in the credits scenes are not millionaires from the work they do.

 

Now, imagine how all those people who have worked on a film feel after reading certain comments. Certainly hurt and probably worried. Let’s not forget that these negative comments might hurt their prospects of getting another job. This is why when I think about a creative team dealing with cruel reviews, I always hope they have read some Brené Brown. As you guys probably know, I love this woman. It was through her that I discovered this Theodore Roosevelt quote:

 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

 

So in a way, I hope that all creatives have this quote in mind when they receive certain criticism. It will surely help them to get back up and keep doing the work they do. To the haters, though, do I mean that your opinion is not valid if you are not in the industry? Well yes… and no. Because you see, the industry caters to you, so your opinion is definitely important. Here’s the thing, though: saying “This is the stupidest film I’ve ever seen” is not constructive or helpful. And that is sadly 90% of the internet. 

Honestly, it is. Before writing a piece on why I didn’t connect to a certain product I try to think: if a friend asked me for feedback regarding his/her work… how would I word my opinions? How would I let him/her know that his/her project he/she cares so much for needs a little tweaking? What do I miss? What could I do without? What could help this whole situation?

 

Does this mean you have to write a constructive dissertation every time you hate something? Well, no (but it might be helpful to other viewers and creatives if you do!). If you don’t feel like it, however, you can always do what Austin Kleon suggests. Just say “This wasn’t for me”. And simply, move on. Your mama was right: “If you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all”. So move on to something you do like. Share it and talk about it enthusiastically about it with others. I am sure it will definitely put you and others in a better mood. Also, if someone who has worked on the film reads your comments I’m sure you’ll make them very happy.

 

All in all, at the end of the day, the world needs art. But mostly, the world needs love and respect. Art requires us to be vulnerable. If we keep poisoning it with hate, nobody will want to keep making it. I hope it’s not surprising for you to learn that being creative requires us to be vulnerable, and being vulnerable requires bravery. If this is new to you, I suggest you read some Brené Brown. It will change your life.

 

I guess my point is… haters gonna hate. But I try not to be bothered with their opinions. Haters are cowards who tweet while shitting. Don’t be one. It’s not cool to hate on someone because everyone else is doing it. In the same sense, you don’t need to love something just because everyone else does. Whatever your feelings are, always acknowledge the hard work that has gone into something. Then, choose your worlds wisely and share your honest opinion. At the end of “Daylight”, the last song in her album “Lover”, Taylor Swift says “I want to be defined by the things that I love”. Me too. There’s a peaceful feeling that comes with letting what you love (instead of what you hate) define you. You should try it. It’s empowering.